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Alright--
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
07:33:55 AM
New R.I.P. today.
I don't think Singer's heart was in the right place with SR
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
07:37:13 AM
I think it was in Brandon Routh's speedo.
OBAMA SMASH!
by IAmMrMonkey!
Oct 1st, 2008
07:46:03 AM
They should have turned these guys into wacky superheroes and sold it that way. You could Obama turning into The Hulk whenever he got angered by a McCain poster or something. And McCain could mimic Green Goblin and fly around on a hoverboard throwing political material into crowds.

I've now gone 32 hours without sleep. You'll have to forgive me for this post as I'm going slightly crazy.

Really?
by toxicbuddha
Oct 1st, 2008
07:48:27 AM
Ha ha, Singer is gay!
by rev_skarekroe
Oct 1st, 2008
07:48:46 AM
And like all gays he is incapable of producing any work of art or entertainment that is not blanketed in homoerotic subtext! What a fag!
Hulk sucked
by sean bean
Oct 1st, 2008
07:49:48 AM
Sucked, sucked, sucked. It was so stupid I want to stick a fork in my ear. Six issues of infantile twists, appalling characterisation and boring fights. I can never give Jeph Loeb the benefit of the doubt again. He is an awful writer and everything he touches turns to shit. His Wolverine run was possibly the worst story arc on any major title this decade. He ruined the Ultimates. Fallen Son was passable but superfluous. And let's not get started on Heroes.
Really?
by toxicbuddha
Oct 1st, 2008
07:53:16 AM
The Hulk #6 was a hot mess. The whole arc was just dopey, like your slow 12 year old cousin plotted the damn thing. I just got around to reading this arc and Ultimates vol 3 1-5 and Loeb's stories are just sloppy as hell. In this book characters just pop the fuck up willy-nilly. Stark seems very unconcerned with the fact that someone has stolen ordnance from the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, and no one ever does explain why the FUCK you need a gun big enough for the Hulk to shoot.
Thanks Assholes
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
08:01:10 AM
Been starting my wednesdays with this column since 2003 and it's always great to read the reviews and check out the talkback. so thanks for making it happen.
That wasn't my point rev. skarekroe
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
08:09:08 AM
But way to jump in with a reactionary homophobic defense. The homoeroticism wasn't subtext in SR. It was surface text. Jackass.
So who was Rulk?
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
08:10:10 AM
Somebody spoil it. I'm not buying the issue.
Rulk
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
08:13:24 AM
turns out he's jason todd
You can't blame Matt Murdock
by Steve Rogers
Oct 1st, 2008
08:15:09 AM
[SPOILER] Well, okay, you can. But still - Dakota is hot!
stevrodgers - like the username
by Steve Rogers
Oct 1st, 2008
08:16:23 AM
Steve Rogers
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
08:18:05 AM
you too sir!
Someone spoil
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
08:21:01 AM
who Rulk is, just post it on LAST weeks talkback please. I want to know, but don't want it ruined for anyone who doesn't pick up weekly.
Rulk
by sean bean
Oct 1st, 2008
08:22:48 AM
Turns out he's the psionic embodiment of the combined psyches of Professor X and Magneto
Prof X and Magneto?
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
08:24:28 AM
I fucking knew it.
Yep, Jeph Loeb is awful
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
08:35:32 AM
I don't even understand what people hold up for him in the plus column.
Singer's Heart Was Not in the Right Place
by catlettuce4
Oct 1st, 2008
08:40:32 AM
Taking one of the seminal creations of the 20th century, with all that existing backstory and grafting on an ill fitting story about a bastard kid and a superstalker simply to work out your own personal issues is NOT an example of having the best intentions towards a character. It's an act of mere selfishness.
Here, here catlettuce
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
08:47:05 AM
And let's not forget that James Marsden was the actual hero of the movie.
I Like The SUPERMAN Theme Music Too
by LaserPants
Oct 1st, 2008
09:07:44 AM
But that didn't make SUPERMAN RETURNS not suck. I don't think Singer's heart was in the right place AT ALL -- if anything, he turned Superman into his own creepy, self-obsessed emo-gay fantasy boy instead of the boy-scout godman he is supposed to be. Epic fail on Singer's part.

Agree that SUPERMAN the comic, is pretty bad. Thankfully we still have Geoff Johns writing ACTION COMICS, which has been AWESOME. I think SUPERGIRL needs a tune up now. I LOVE how they jacked up Kara's barely legal / jailbait-y hotness, but the last few issues about her being obsessed with the kid with cancer were pretty awful. I hope this new book takes her to better and more interesting places.
I used the magic of google to find out that Rulk's identity...
by rev_skarekroe
Oct 1st, 2008
09:11:32 AM
...is not revealed in this issue.
i don't think the new Runaways is quite that bad
by newc0253
Oct 1st, 2008
09:17:54 AM
the writing certainly doesn't have the edge of Whedon or BKV, but it's still okay.

the art is a little more inconsistent: sometimes it's pretty good, sometimes it's just weak.

i think the real problem with Runaways is that the bar is set very high, so that when it veers towards the average, you really notice. writers like BKV and Whedon and artists like Alphona have gotta be a phenomenally hard act to follow.

one thing's this is definitely the worst cover of any Runaways edition, a long way from the days when Joan Chen used to do them.

The Red Hulk's identity is....
by Blanket-Man
Oct 1st, 2008
09:19:11 AM
...not revealed in HULK #6. We learn who he is NOT: Doc Samson and T-Bolt Ross, who show up at the end, revealing that they were indeed pulling Rulk's strings, but, like everything else is this train wreck of a story, we have no clue why. Everyone is so waaaaay out of character, it's ridiculous. Hulk, with Thor's help, finally renders Rulk unconscious in the desert. So what does Thor do? Shakes Hulk's hand in friendship... then FLIES OFF, leaving Rulk in the trusty care of Lloyd "Hulk" Christmas and Harry "A-Bomb" Dunn. Uh, what?!? How about taking him to the Vault, or to an Asgardian jail, or somewhere, ANYWHERE, to contain him? This murderous, nigh-unstoppable creature is obviously still alive, yet the noble Thor just leaves him there to wake up and do his thing again at some point in the near future. What a mess. But I bought every damned issue, because McGuinness's art is a sight to behold. For a comic story, HULK #1-6 makes a great poster book!
SPOILERS for HULK #6 in post above
by Blanket-Man
Oct 1st, 2008
09:21:47 AM
Sorry, but if I stopped even one person from suffering through that drek, I've done the Lord's work.
I fully agree with Laserpants-Re: Singer's Superman
by Psynapse
Oct 1st, 2008
09:30:30 AM
And I am Gay so bite me.
Singer's heart was in the right place
by Geekgasm
Oct 1st, 2008
09:30:57 AM
and Superman Returns was a beautiful film for grown-ups and not some purile brainless nerdwank where he "hit stuff" and it "blowed up real good". So stick that up your ass and wiggle on it, you gay-bashing homophobic motherfucking philistines.
Obama
by David Cloverfield
Oct 1st, 2008
09:32:53 AM
Count me in. I've enjoyed Luke Cage and Blade in the past. Black Panther too.
I've just had a revelation about Jeph Loeb
by sean bean
Oct 1st, 2008
09:33:35 AM
His background is Hollywood (I loved Commando, to be fair) and he writes comics like a pitch to studio execs. "What's better than one Hulk? Two Hulks! But this new Hulk - he's red! And clever! And a murderer! And who turns up to fight him? Iron Man! Then who turns up to fight him? Thor! And his buddy Rick? He's the new Abomination! And who is the red Hulk? We build the whole storyline around the mystery of his identity, then - get this, baby - WE DON'T ACTUALLY REVEAL WHO HE IS! This is pure comic dynamite!"
We're gay-bashing homophobic philistines
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
09:37:29 AM
because we realize a crap movie when we see it? You're just helping create Republicans, Geekasm.
Geekgasm
by David Cloverfield
Oct 1st, 2008
09:37:42 AM
What did you find beautiful in SR? I'm asking honestly. I don't get the love for that movie. I like to consider myself a grown-up, but I felt it had extremely weak characters and a boring story. Maybe I'm missing out on the nostalgia thing, I didn't like the Donner films as a kid (still love the big S though.) Please elaborate on this grown up fun, I'm curious.
blanket-man
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
09:39:54 AM
thanks for the info on Rulk. i feel vindicated for staying far away from that comic.
Loeb's comics
by sean bean
Oct 1st, 2008
09:43:39 AM
just jump from BIG EVENT to BIG EVENT with GUEST STARS and SHOCKING DEATHS and no coherency or consistency. They're so transparently written to be BIG BLOCKBUSTER EVENTS and I'm surprised the editors indulge him. Hush was probably the worst offender, just throwing character after character into the mix. Ultimates 3 was like it was written by a twelve-year-old - fair enough if you want to take the title in a new direction, but it totally disregarded the tone, characterisation or even the universe established by the first two. And, as for that Wolverine story arc, I'm trying not to think about it.
superman returns
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
09:48:27 AM
I think it was said before (maybe in a talk-back), better than me, but beyond all the sorta creepiness to it, it was just incredibly lame that the big issue was that lex luthor wanted to make an island or whatever? he is an evil real estate developer? thats the best they could come up with? I just remembered the kid... doesn’t he lift a piano? Ugh. I did like the plane scene. That was straight superman goodness.
A beautiful film for grown-ups?
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
09:59:21 AM
Which part? The Cosmic Dead Beat Dad storyline? Or the sneak attack climax of the storyline?(Wait, its over?)

Much like Ang Lee's Hulk, Singer's Superman forgot its roots in its moronic quest to be considered a "real" film and ended up creating something far, far worse than the most juvenile of superhero films, a self-loathing superhero film, embarrassed by the cliches and traditions that it turned out to be incapable of doing well in the first place and yet alo unable to add anything new or interesting to the mix in their stead. Superman Returns could have only benefitted from the inclusion of a gian fucking robot spider. Nolan and Favreau's recent successes only serve to highlight the exceptional failure of Singer's Superman.

In short: it sucked balls... big time.
Also
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
10:03:32 AM
Loeb is god damn terrible. Late era Claremont is right. Next stop Liefeldburg and Winnickville!

The fact the Ultimates must be such a failure that they begged Millar back tickles me to no end.

Heroes is the Special Olympians of superhero stuff. It tries so hard and you want it to do well, but even when it succeeds... its still a god damn retard.
Liefeldburg
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
10:08:33 AM
where everyone has tiny little hands, strange feet, super long legs, the same expression and thousands of lines headed for their crotch.
Liefeldburg
by Laserhead
Oct 1st, 2008
10:11:46 AM
Also, everyone's hair is permed and drawn with dozens of tiny teardrops.
A Beautiful Film for Grownups?
by catlettuce4
Oct 1st, 2008
10:15:21 AM
Um, no. At best it was a "Lifetime" movie.
Hating Superman Returns = Gay-Bashing? Pray Tell, HOW?
by LaserPants
Oct 1st, 2008
10:24:36 AM
I don't care if Singer is gay, I care whether or not he makes shitty movies and SUPERMAN RETURNS was a DEEPLY SHITTY MOVIE that totally missed the mark on Supes. I don't judge people based on who they want to bump uglies with, and anyone who does is an idiot. BUT, point blank -- the gay-metaphor / metrosexual aesthetic works BRILLIANTLY with XMen, but Superman is NOT a metrosexual stalker in speedoes; he's populist heartland boyscout who would rather walk away from a doomed relationship then be a stalker. And that doesn't even scratch the surface of the sheer crappiness of Superboy. *Shudder*. Please do lets reboot, please? Please?
McCain's Military Career
by Andre the Frog
Oct 1st, 2008
10:29:38 AM
Is pretty much a series of fuck-ups culminating in him getting captured. The only heroic part is that he supposedly "chose" to remain a POW until earlier captured POW's were released. I'm not 100 percent sure that was HIS decision. It could well be that the military considered basic morale to be of greater worth than the rescue of one reckless kid, so they let him stay a POW. If anyone made a sacrifice, it was McCain's FATHER.
Leifeldburg
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
10:33:01 AM
where there is a surprising lack of buildings, or background of any sort and everyone has many pockets and pouches where they can store their belongings.
Well, Hitler may not have gotten the "Gepetto Treatment"
by Andre the Frog
Oct 1st, 2008
10:36:48 AM
But Kaiser Wilhelm and Hirohito certainly did.
As long as you're going to ripoff "Vincent Price"'s good name.
by Andre the Frog
Oct 1st, 2008
10:42:18 AM
Why not have a book called "Shakespeare's Tomb of Teen Suicide" and "Mary Shelly's House of Romantic Horror."
"to the glimpses we see of a sight tragic pass"
by xsi kal
Oct 1st, 2008
11:09:48 AM
I do not think these words mean what you think they mean.
Lady Bullseye...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
11:17:56 AM
This Daredevil cover was a relief. When the preview showed up in last month's issue, it looked like the white portions were skin. She was wearing the single skankiest costume ever.
McCains arm's.......
by BacardiRocky
Oct 1st, 2008
11:29:50 AM
In that Pose, McShame's are too long in that picture of him posing. The artists surely took "artistic expression" to new heights. In real life he has Tyrannosaurus Rex length arms, but then again his campaign is a work of fiction of his "maverick-like" ways so I guess the length of his arms in that pose are the least of our troubles.
Worse than Ulitmates 3?!?!?
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
11:46:15 AM
I'm sorry, but Ultimates 3 sucked so much it made me cry and I still don't really believe it exists. Ultimates 3 ruined the most consistently entertaining line of comics of the past decade. I haven't read Hulk, so maybe you're right, but I pray to god, allah, and satan that it's all still just a dream...
Too many Superman writers
by Snookeroo
Oct 1st, 2008
11:52:37 AM
don't like the Superman character. Hell, even Denny O'Neill didn't like Superman.
Too many Superman comics.
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
11:55:48 AM
When will they learn? He's one of the hardest characters to write. HE should not appear in 4 or 5 books per month.
Aw, Ryan, you missed the chance...
by Kid Z
Oct 1st, 2008
12:01:27 PM
... to write your entire review in Hulk-speak. Bummer! (Puny human! Didn't scribble words the way Hulk talk. Not good! Hulk smash!)
Superman Returns
by Mr.FTW
Oct 1st, 2008
12:02:13 PM
Have any of you guys who hate this movie seen the Richard Donner Cut of Superman II? Returns is a straight continuation of the Donner movies. If you hate Returns you should hate those movies too. I for one don't see any king of homosexual refrences in Returns at all but of course I didn't go into that movie looking for them behind every tree and under every rock like some of you obviously did. Singer, love it or hate it did his best to humanize Superman, the one thing nerds always bitch about the problem being in the comics. "Supes is too much a boy scout, he's too powerful, no one can identify with him, he's out dated and that's whay Batman is better." That is all you hear all the time, Singer goes and does what nerds have been bitching about by making Superman more realistic, more human and more flawed and all you guys do is bitch still. If Michael Bay had directed Superman Returns it would have give you guys everything you say it's missing but you would still hate it. Just like the Hulk movies, everyone likes to hate on Ang Lee but when Edward Norton gave you everything Lee didn't you still say it sucks. What is wrong with you people? Superman Returns put an end cap on an emotion driven story arc for Superman, there was no creepy, no stalking and no gay. The addition of the kid was weird but it was a plot device to end the story on a note of hope and happiness because it meant for the first time Superman wasn't alone. It was a good movie so please find another dead horse to beat.
Hulk then...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
12:19:32 PM
I prefer the movie that a small group of people really like as opposed to the movie that everyone kind of likes.
You are incorrect FTW
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
12:24:51 PM
Its not bad that Singer (or Ang Lee) attempted to include actual character into these stories, its that they did it BADLY. Like I said, see Nolan's and Favreau's recent films for how a superhero film is made that highlights the multifaceted and deeply human nature of the characters while still doing the traditional comic book type action.

Superman Returns (and Ang Lee's Hulk) where not bad because of story choices, they were bad because they were crappily done films. They were not good movies. They are bad movies that failed at every attempted turn and couldn't even succeed in the areas where "bad" filmmakers like Bay do so without even half trying.

Also, adding the kid wasn't weird, it was stupid and you are very incorrect about the creepiness involved with Superman Returns. The part where he was peering through their house and silently watching them... Crrepy. I will agree with you on one point, I didn't see any gay subtext in Superman Returns, unless by "gay", you mean to use the term in its somewhat offensive common meaning of "lame", in which case... it was loaded with them.

Also, also, Norton's Hulk was fun.
Did the Obama book accurately...
by PirateEmery
Oct 1st, 2008
12:37:08 PM
...portray the fact that he has only spent 150 days in the Senate?
Did the McCain book accurately...
by PirateEmery
Oct 1st, 2008
12:38:47 PM
...portray McCain's decision in 2002 to change his party affiliation to Democrat?
Did either book accurately...
by PirateEmery
Oct 1st, 2008
12:39:44 PM
...explain why I dislike both of these individuals?
RE: McCain's arms...
by PirateEmery
Oct 1st, 2008
12:45:11 PM
You realize that's because they were broken beyond repair in the Hanoi Hilton?

Now, how does that make you FEEL? You can disagree with him on his ideals, his presentation, his policies, but making fun of his arms just makes you look like an insensitive bastard.

Just to clarify a bit...
by bottleimp
Oct 1st, 2008
12:48:51 PM
What I mean by writing that "Singer's heart was in the right place" is that he wanted to: A. Make the audience connect with the character rather than just watch the character in action sequences, hence the focus on Superman's distance from and subsequent return to humanity, and B. Use the fact that Superman had been away from the world (of cinema, at any rate) as a key element in re-introducing the character to the silver screen. Is it a perfect movie? Far from it. But in my opinion SUPERMAN RETURNS' successes outweigh its failures. I left the theater feeling less disappointed than I did when I saw THE DARK KNIGHT.
That's right, I don't think DARK KNIGHT was that great.
Let the ass-ripping commence.
"loeb suxxorz!!!1!" really? well, I'll take that long halloween
by ironic_name
Oct 1st, 2008
12:53:08 PM
and your special edition commando dvd, thanks.
"simply don’t care enough to lean either way"...
by FlickaPoo
Oct 1st, 2008
12:54:00 PM
...how do you feel about health care buddy?...do you have cozy feelings about health care? I'm self employed and health insurance would cost me almost twice as much as my mortgage...if I get sick I'm going to have to shoot myself like a horse with a broken leg...
PirateEmery - and I thought dubya had a SHORT ARMy stint
by ironic_name
Oct 1st, 2008
12:55:49 PM
zang!
aaaand another homo heard from
by Homer Sexual
Oct 1st, 2008
01:09:25 PM
...coming aboard to say that Superman Returns was awful! Totally sucked! I could hardly believe how bad it was when I finally saw it.

Rulk, otoh, rocked. I do so want to know who is Rulk. That is what I am hoping someone will tell me! But, despite that, and admitting that it was over the top, I hugely enjoyed it. Not like it's Incredible Herc or anything, but it was good dumb fun!

Runaways is definitely a case of high expectations. Each writer has been less good than his predecessor, but I still enjoy the book (and I am a Ramos fan, so that helps).

Ang Lee's Hulk was good.
by jmyoung666
Oct 1st, 2008
01:10:11 PM
It had a few cringe-inducing moments, but was definitely a very good take on the Hulk. There's no need to lump his Hulk film in with Singer's Supes film.
I didn't think Dark Knight was great either...
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
01:14:23 PM
But I did enjoy it. I can't say the same for Superman Returns (except for little parts here and there, which obviously highlighted Singer's love for the character, which may be what blinded him to the fact that the script was so lackluster.)
Mr. FTW
by jmyoung666
Oct 1st, 2008
01:15:42 PM
I saw no gay references in Returns and still thought it sucked. I like Donner's first film and did not see his cut of the second. However, a campy Lex who was a real estate mogul in the 70s was acceptable at the time. Kevin Spacey camping it up with another fucking real estate scheme is boring and disappointing. Also Superman II, the opriginal upped the ante with superpowered villains. Returning to Lex and not having him be more vicious or more supersciencey is lazy. Too much angst and whinyness for a Superman film.
Also absent dad does not equal deadbeat dad.
by jmyoung666
Oct 1st, 2008
01:17:10 PM
Booo, Ang Lee's Hulk!
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
01:19:46 PM
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I kid. Actually, it had good moments too, but come on, it totally withered and died on the vine by the end. Now, is that Ang Lee's fault? Mostly, BUT I also think the Hulk is a pretty one note character so, doing a hulk film is like having two strikes against you before you even get up to bat. I mean, the whole of the character is basically him trying NOT to do the one thing we all WANT him to do and then he does it and... shows over.

Hulk works best in the middle of Manhatten with the Avengers trying to stop him.

"Oh, lets make him smart!"

"Oh, excuse me while I nap!"
dead beat Dad, absent Dad
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
01:20:35 PM
six of one, half a dozen of the other. It all adds up to the kid being a stupid storyline.
Superman is a beeatch
by Squashua
Oct 1st, 2008
01:36:22 PM
I'm the _ Batman!

http://tinyurl.com/gdmbat
Waitasecond.
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
01:36:59 PM
Deadbeat Dad = absent Dad

But Mephisto does not equal the devil?

And yes, the only good horse to beat, is the dead one.

And for the record....
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
01:38:25 PM
A like neither Superman Returns or Jeff Loeb.
C'mon!
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
01:39:56 PM

He didn't know the kid even existed. He spent 6 0r 7 years in space, a squillion miles away. What was he supposed to do when he returned-"Sorry Cyclops, I'm in charge now. Get lost." If Bryan Singer were to have made another Superman movie, it would have been great. It would have had some actual character development and what not that's never been seen before. Lois and Cyclops would live together. Superkid would basically be written out of the script. There'd be awkward sexual tension between Clark, Cyclops and Lois at the office, Superman would stop Brainiac from enslaving mankind, etc.

Superkid has a father, and his name is Cyclops. Not only is he an ace reporter (if I remember correctly) he's also a pilot-very cool. By everyone's argument, every adopted kid in the world comes from a broken family with a deadbeat dad and/or mom.

Can I share with you a pet hate of...
by Reelheed
Oct 1st, 2008
01:41:49 PM
comics that have the last panel as the front cover. I really fucking hate it so much. Basically its a conceit that nothing of any note will take place until the very end of the book. It drives me mental.
Comic covers/interiors, etc...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
01:46:15 PM
Daredevil #49. A great cover by Alex Maleev. I later noticed it was a panel from the interior. Not even a very big one. In the middle of the book too. A pleasant surprise.
Son of a bitch!
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:01:12 PM
We were in the top talkbacks for a minute or two. Get to work nerds.
PirateEmery
by BacardiRocky
Oct 1st, 2008
02:04:44 PM
I could give a shit about him and his arms. How does someone become a war hero when they are captured by the enemy, caused plane crashes that took American lives and was in the bottom 5 of his graduating class in military school?.....Yeah, fuck McCain and his short arms. he will never reach the top cause his arms are too short.
Bacardi
by PirateEmery
Oct 1st, 2008
02:08:28 PM
In the immortal words of Dick Cheney: "so?"
Fuck war heroes.
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:10:28 PM
There's nothing heroic about war. It is terrifying and horrible. I think we should try to move away from the concept of "war heroes" so people will stop glorifying war and hopefully they'll learn something in the process.
"so?"
by BacardiRocky
Oct 1st, 2008
02:11:25 PM
So why defend him and his short arms? Of course I know he was a POW. He likes to remind us every chance he gets.
loodabagel and Bango
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
02:16:21 PM
Looabagel: No, he should have just not used the kid. It was just a bad idea. Lois and a new boyfriend? Fine. Lois and Superbaby? LAME. Sure, he didn't know, but it still paints Superman in a bad light AND for what purpose? If there had been NO kid, would Superman have NOT saved Lois at the end, would he have NOT pined for her? No. The kid was a mistake. A moot point, yes, but still, like Bango said: Dead horse, blah, blah, blah.

Bango... I won't hesitate to stab you.
Rulk
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
02:18:29 PM
Red Hulk! Rulk! Jeph Loeb you are a clever clever man.
Ultimates 3
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
02:20:38 PM
I don't know about you guys, but I am dying to know how Valkerie got her powers. (not really)
Im an ass
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
02:21:32 PM
he isn't called 'Rulk' in the comic is he? sigh... what a jerk.
Actually...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:22:52 PM
Superkid is Brainiac's baby. That's why he was immune to kryptonite. It also explains why Lois was able to survive with him in her uterus. If it was Superman's kid, he would've kicked a hole in her. Superman 6=Superkid's programming kicks in, he and Braniac enslave humanity. Superman saves the day.
Ultimates 3...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:24:31 PM
I personally, am really excited to see the new Kitty Pryde costume. I hear it's completely transparent except for the dental floss thong and bikini. Truly brilliant costume design by Maduerera.
But my personal favorite..
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:25:48 PM
Is how he ruined ultimate Iron man by putting him in an exact replica of his 616 armor. It was fun while it lasted, eh Hitch, ol pal?
Superbaby goddamn KILLED a guy in "Superman Returns".
by SleazyG.
Oct 1st, 2008
02:28:27 PM
That's all you even need to say about the movie. They had a superpowered little kid (a completely idiotic idea to begin with) kill a guy by throwing a piano into him. The HERO'S child KILLED A GUY ON SCREEN. I'm sorry, but there's only one word to describe that: FUCKED. And it's not the only thing about the movie that's completely fucked--it's just one of many. The movie flat-out sucked, top to bottom.

Just out of curiosity: how do you discipline this kid? How does he not spin out of control, having carelessly taken his first life in kindergarten, and end up a supervillain? I mean, moronic thought processes behind Superbaby aside, did anyone actually stop to think about the ramifications of the events they put on screen in future storylines?

Again-BRAINIAC!
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:35:32 PM
I've said this time and time again. Fuck, I've been saying this since Superman Returns came out. Superkid is Brainiac's child. Using his robot-y powers, he should've aged to an adult in 5 minutes and kicked Superman's ass, say soemthing prophetic and force Superman and Luthor team up to stop the Brainiac family from destroying life as we know it in the next movie.
Oh God, Joe Mad!
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
02:41:50 PM
Amongst all the crap that is Loeb's attempt to write Ultimates, its come completely unbitched about how Mad stll stubbornly clings to the horrid desgins and style choices that made the 90s so horrible and what an ugly color palette too. Ultimates 3 is such an sub par comic, it is unbelievable.
Superman Returns should have included Gorilla Grodd
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
02:42:56 PM
Why not?
All I'm saying is....
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
02:43:30 PM
Making a deal with Mephisto, is not the same as making a deal with The Kingpin or Doom. It's like a real deal with the davil, the fucker collects souls....

Wait. What week is this? Oh.

Superman Returns sucked balls.

RULK is Miles better than ULTIMATES 3
by George Newman
Oct 1st, 2008
02:46:23 PM
I thumbed through the first couple issues. It is so much more coherent and intelligent than Ultimates 3. His Ultimates book reads like it was written by a middle schooler.

No, it's worse than that. It feels as if it were a transcription of a kid's Action Figure story. A random assortment of "cool" toys gathered from the toy bin.

Whoa! WHoa!
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
02:49:00 PM
Don't be dissin my action figure stories like that. How do you think it makes Darth Vader, Iron Man, The Scorpion and Ninja Turtle feel? We always had a strict "no incest, classy cleavage" policy.
Hillary Clinton Comic Book!
by Sackratte
Oct 1st, 2008
03:06:52 PM
Bluwater is publishing another one. Here is the link: http://www.bluewaterprod.com/n ews/Hillary_Clinton_biography_ 09-23-08.php

by Sackratte
Oct 1st, 2008
03:11:26 PM
http://www.bluewaterprod.com/n ews/Hillary_Clinton_biography_ 09-23-08.php
RULK v. ULTIMATES 3
by Olsen Twins_Fan
Oct 1st, 2008
03:13:23 PM
They both read like they're written by a 12 year old, the difference is that Ultimates looks like it's drawn by a 12 year old as well. Some of the most incoherent panel work I've ever seen to go with the gobbledygook story.
Immortal Iron Fist
by Olsen Twins_Fan
Oct 1st, 2008
03:14:56 PM
Hey @ssholes - what's your take on the new creative team? I still kinda like it, although I really miss Aja.
The reason why Red Hulk's identity wasn't revealed...
by LastDragon
Oct 1st, 2008
03:30:13 PM
...is that it hasn't been decided yet. Sad but true.
That Skrull banner...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
03:33:55 PM
Isn't nearly as good as the old "Skrulls did everything" one. I think the @$$holes should start running fan-made banner contests. It'd go over way better than the fan-fiction "duel of inifinite fists" or whatever it was called.
"Supes is too much a boy scout,
by Snookeroo
Oct 1st, 2008
03:34:05 PM
he's too powerful, no one can identify with him, he's out dated and that's why Batman is better."

One does, indeed hear that complaint all the time. However, I LIKE the idea that he stands for "truth, justice and the American way". That doesn't make him a big blue boyscout, it just means he has core beliefs that aren't completely self-serving.
Batman is Batman because he has anger issues. Spider-man is Spider-man because he has guilt issues. Green Lantern is Green Lantern because it was foisted on him. The Fantastic Four are the Fantastic Four because Reed Richards screwed up.
Face it, Superman is one of the few super-powered beings that does good simply because he can. That's not boring -- it's unique. And in this day and age it may be outdated, but I'll take a little of that retro attitude.

As far as being able to "identify" with him,unless you're involved in the WWE Championship Smackdown I'm not sure how one DOES "identify" with buff dudes in spandex beating the crap out of each other.

And yeah, he can "do anything", but that's pretty cool -- not too many people can make that claim. I don't find that boring -- apparently a few zillion other people over the last 70 years haven't found it boring, either.
The Superman comics should take a lesson from All-Star Superman.
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
03:36:46 PM
Balls to the wall, I say. Throw your balls at the wall, Superman.
Snookeroo
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
03:45:58 PM
As far as being able to "identify" with Supes.... I think you answered your own question.... We all have anger issues (Batman), or guilt (Spiderman), or mistakes that haunt us (FF4), or feel like outcasts (X-men).... Few of us, however, can relate to being a pure-hearted God among men.

That's just my take, but I've never been --aside from All-Star-- a Superman fan. And mostly for those reasons. I can't relate. I'm an angry, guilty, outcast, who has fucked up repeatedly. Those are my people.

Bango, you're the Devil
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
03:52:41 PM
Not THE Devil, but the devil all the same... I'm just saying...
"no incest, classy cleavage"
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
03:54:33 PM
Don't forget smooooooth crotches.
Iron Fist
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
03:55:54 PM
I'm kind of...meh... on it. I think I may drop it, not because its bad, not really, there's just something missing.
Yeah, except the guy I put in the microwave...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
03:57:08 PM
I just wanted him to spin around. I didn't know he'd melt so easily. I got him out before any real damage was done, but it still looks like Leonardo had the clap.
Snook
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:01:01 PM
I agree. Superman is an alien God who has choosen to serve and protect his adoptive planet. Yes, he can do anything, including rule the world with an iron fist and he doesn't. I don't think thats retro, thats noble, thats heroic and it is a unique quality in comics. I don't think it should be darkened or changed. He's a boyscout, but thats not a bad thing.
Is it just me...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:01:29 PM
Or is everyone at Newsarama way dumber than us? AICN Comics is like MENSA compared to all of those other goons.
Leonardo did have the clap.
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:05:07 PM
April was a total slut.
The newsarama boards sometimes...
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:06:55 PM
remind me of the comments on news stories on the AOL main page.
mistakes that haunt us (FF4)
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:08:24 PM
You mean, because Reed was too busy thinking about if he COULD do it, to bother thinking about if he SHOULD do it?

Take that, dead horse!
Thus, the hockey mask...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:19:07 PM
That's Reagan's America for ya. With no sex-ed in the schools, a young Casey Jones didn't know what was meant by "protection." He probably wears shin guards when he's having sex.
Marvel Cop outs
by WarpedElements
Oct 1st, 2008
04:19:46 PM
"It's magic". "Skrulls did it". "We're not revealing it". "Quantum Theory". "Time travel". "The Scarlet Witch always had reality altering powers...quantum theory...". For fuck's sake. This is why I switched to Image.
Bangoskank
by Snookeroo
Oct 1st, 2008
04:20:28 PM
You CAN'T be "an angry, guilty, outcast, who has fucked up repeatedly" because I'M an angry, guilty, outcast, who has fucked up repeatedly -- and you're never at the meetings.

But to your point, the Superman character is better than I am -- that's why I find him interesting.

Joenathan: word.
Image?
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:22:23 PM
If you say so...
Quality Image or Image Classic?
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:23:29 PM
Pockets and Foil! Pockets and Foil! Pockets and Foil! And of course, skintight armor.
Seventh place!
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:25:27 PM
We're comin for ya American Carol! Keep with the inane chatter, or uh, thoughtful discussion. Whichever suits you.
Fuck my pussy, doctor.
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:26:07 PM
Better believe it.
Half alligator shark half man
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:27:05 PM
Man, I gotta do some math homework, not to mention read some furry fan fiction.
Grootymert
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:27:44 PM
Superhero Image?
by WarpedElements
Oct 1st, 2008
04:34:02 PM
I dunno. Astonishing Wolf-Man, Fire Breather, Madman, Jack, Walking Dead.
Walking Dead is good
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:36:57 PM
There should be more boobie though... admittedly, thats true for everything.
Also Image
by Joenathan
Oct 1st, 2008
04:38:28 PM
I was kind of disappointed with the execution of their whole "Mad Max" super hero post apocalypse. I had hope, but it was very "meh"

BUT... Old Man Logan is still fantastic.
Snook
by BangoSkank
Oct 1st, 2008
04:40:43 PM
I'm never at the meetings, because I also have issues regarding rejection.

And Superman being a boyscout isn't a bad thing.... But I always preferred Brownies.

That's all I got.

Bangoskank
by Snookeroo
Oct 1st, 2008
04:44:25 PM
I got kicked out of boyscouts for eating brownies.

badda-bing
Nevermind.
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:51:07 PM
Turns out I only have one section left. I'll save it for later.
Nova was very good as well
by Reelheed
Oct 1st, 2008
04:55:51 PM
Please buy nova people... please
Fun facts...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
04:58:10 PM
Not only was Abercrombie and Fitch a Nazi arms manufacturer in World War 2, it was also the brand of gun Ernest Hemmingway used to kill himself.
just the idea
by steverodgers
Oct 1st, 2008
05:08:07 PM
of math homework makes me want to vomit all over my computer. loodabagel stay strong!
Hey thanks for the help man.
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
05:29:17 PM
I couldn't have remembered how to divide complex fractions without you. I'll be sure to let the internet know when I try to quit some hard drugs.
Mike Allred
by Gelatinousman
Oct 1st, 2008
07:44:09 PM
I do not like.
Jeph Loeb is the Paul Haggis of comics
by blindambition238
Oct 1st, 2008
07:47:05 PM
His work is overdramatic, overwrought, overly verbose, and overrated by the industry.

He always gets a free pass for The Long Halloween, but seriously watch Godfather part I, then go back and read TLH right after. The amount of 'homages' to that movie are pretty ridicilous. And when you look beyond his standard kitchen sink approach towards making an 'epic' story by shoving in as many cameos and guest spots as possible, it becomes more obvious that the entire story makes little to no sense.

Red Hulk
by BetaRayBill07
Oct 1st, 2008
07:50:56 PM
I wrote this months ago, but whatever here goes. Anyone out there know what happened to the angry brutal intelligent Green Hulk that beat the crap out of most of the Marvel Universe just a few months ago? What happened to him? Now, its back to "Hulk not like things" blah blah blah. Red Hulk whoever he is (anyone notice Doc Samson's torn pants, and yes I know he was there at the end) would have totally gotten the beatdown in about 8 pages by that super angry Hulk who lost his wife on Saakar. Hulk no speak good for some reason. Bring back Peter David's Gray version, please!! Ugh!!
BTW
by BetaRayBill07
Oct 1st, 2008
07:52:49 PM
Anyone see the placement for next issue? Hulk green, skinny, and looks intelligent.
Gelatin_Allred
by optimous_douche
Oct 1st, 2008
08:04:47 PM
I think he has his place and XSTATIX was it.

Is it me or does every freaking middle aged white guy look the same in his books.

I was looking at Beast in Fables, but it could just as well have been Mr. Sensitive.

No Batman review.....??
by TheWaqman
Oct 1st, 2008
08:43:43 PM
What the fuck AICN.
Mike Allred is drawing Fables now?
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
08:56:03 PM
Cool. I've always been a fan of his art. This won't necessarily make me read Fables and I'm not sure he's even a good choice for it. His art is hard to take seriously. Madman, The Atomics and such are great, and his style lent a real perverse sense of fun to X-Force/X-Statix. Still, his characters are identifiable by their haircuts and sweaters, and not much else. Mike Allred characters seem to have a hard time emoting with any subtly. However, I think his recent Madman comics look great. I was unfortunately only able to pick up two issues, but the one where he cops the style of every comic artist EVER, just incredible. Amazingly well drawn.
Liefeld Fans, er...
by Pappachubby
Oct 1st, 2008
09:42:58 PM
Go here if you'd like to read a critical analysis of mr. Liefelds work. I laughed so hard I cried. Funny, funny stuff: http://progressiveboink.com/ar chive/robliefeld.html
Radar Men From The Moon
by phaedrus007
Oct 1st, 2008
10:44:27 PM
Those words alone just sold me one copy of M-Theory.
Pappachubby...
by loodabagel
Oct 1st, 2008
11:04:46 PM
Your link's broken.
If Obama gets elected and exclaims "Sweet Christmas!"
by TallBoy66
Oct 1st, 2008
11:46:56 PM
Then he is the greatest person ever.
Shit...
by loodabagel
Oct 2nd, 2008
12:25:09 AM
I'd come in my pants if I heard McCain say sweet christmas. But it would be fear cum, not respect cum.
That was gross.
by loodabagel
Oct 2nd, 2008
12:25:39 AM
Please disregard my last post. It doesn't count.
Sean Bean
by toxicbuddha
Oct 2nd, 2008
01:37:13 AM
THANK YOU for restoring my faith in my sanity on Ultimates3. Coz I was reading it and I kept thinking I had missed some crucial books in the previous arc, namely the ones where they establish that the Wasp is no longer Asian, Hawkeye decides he is Grifter's bastard son and everyone in the Ultimate Universe overdosed on suck pills. As shitarded as the story arc was, the clincher was the Wasp pulling rank on Captain America and demanding that the man who beat her into a fucking coma be fully reinstated on the team, apparently because being directly responsible for the entire clusterfuck they found themselves in AND death of a fellow Avenger proved how brilliant he is.
BetaRayBill07
by Reelheed
Oct 2nd, 2008
03:06:37 AM
Agreed the time of stupid hulk is long passed bring back the worldbreaker!
Speaking of Planet Hulk, has AICN reviewed Skaar yet?
by rev_skarekroe
Oct 2nd, 2008
08:13:59 AM
I'm curious about that one.
Loeb
by Joenathan
Oct 2nd, 2008
08:47:05 AM
He doesn't just rip off Godfather, but Goodfellas as well.

"Sucktarded" - AICN should be the quote on the top of Ultimates 3's trade cover.

Also, thats a really good point about Hulk... When'd he go back to being a Super retard with super retard-strength?

And Loob, "fear cum" may be the new grossest term ever. "Oh my God!" squirt... "...ew..."
Lood
by BangoSkank
Oct 2nd, 2008
09:16:33 AM
All you've got to do is remove the space in the posted link.

Some pretty funny stuff. It pains me to say that I likely have every one of those old comics in a longbox somewhere. All that Youngblood and Brigade shit, and plenty of the rest. That, and the far too many issues of Spawn I own, are my greatest comic book regrets...

toxicbuddha
by sean bean
Oct 2nd, 2008
09:50:15 AM
I hear you, my man. I came to Ultimates 3 as a big fan of the first two volumes, but Loeb pissed away the legacy in the first few pages of the issue. It's just so moronic and generic. It totally misses the point of the Millar/Hitch stuff.
Pappachubby
by sean bean
Oct 2nd, 2008
09:51:03 AM
Thanks for the link. That made me laugh out loud. Liefeld is to art what Loeb is to writing.
Spawn
by Joenathan
Oct 2nd, 2008
11:14:09 AM
It took me 80 issues before I went: Why am I buying this shit? 80 issues! All he did was sit in a fucking alley. Thats it! 80 issues! I still don't know what was wrong with me. At least I wasn't alone. People thought Spawn was pretty hot shit for awhile. Has anyone watched that stupid cartoon lately? P to the motherfucking U!
Bravo on Runaways Humph
by optimous_douche
Oct 2nd, 2008
11:34:43 AM
I'm now more annoyed I wasted 800 precious words giving the first issue of this craptacular series (now) a full review.
He left out my favorite one!
by loodabagel
Oct 2nd, 2008
02:05:32 PM

http://tinyurl.com/3euafh

Iron Man looks great in this one.

Joenathan, I hear you on Spawn.
by rev_skarekroe
Oct 2nd, 2008
04:43:55 PM
I don't think I went quite 80 issues. I got to something like the early 50s. The breaking point was when I realized the book was actually better if I just looked at the pictures.
Since I never dealt with any of that Image-y stuff...
by loodabagel
Oct 2nd, 2008
05:00:37 PM
And have a less subjective opinion, what does everyone think of Todd McFarlane's art? From the Spider-Man stuff I've seen, I think he's one of the better artists to work on the title.
sean bean
by toxicbuddha
Oct 2nd, 2008
10:51:46 PM
Word is born. The most amazing thing is how Loeb just shat on the established continuity to the point that it effectively never existed. Other than the multiple deaths it wasn't even an Ultimate universe book. It was basically a series of those lame ass Marvel Team Up books from the late 70's/early 80'e where everyone meets. fights hen joins to fight the actual bad guys. I am sorry Loeb lost his son to cancer but damn. Someone should confront him about his suck and quit giving him work.
Superman Returns
by toxicbuddha
Oct 2nd, 2008
10:52:07 PM
Superman Returns
by toxicbuddha
Oct 2nd, 2008
11:04:31 PM
There really is no argument here. Singer's sexuality aside, the movie was ass on several levels, starting with the egregious plot holes: The plot was just fucktarded: Superman leaves the Fortress of Solitude unguarded to go on a space scavenger hunt, fully aware that Lex knows where he lives and his crib is full of God knows what Kryptonian technology. He gets back to Earth and NO ONE thinks to tell him that "Oh, BTW, you DO know Lex is out, right?" Nor does he bother to check up on him. Amazingly, Superman doesn't bother to actually capture Lex Luthor. But most unforgiveable of all: Not only does Singer turn an Amrican Icon into a deadbeat dad, but he turns his son into the killer Superman swears he would never be. Singer being gay makes for great abuse and baiting the homo enlightened, but it hardly means hating that abomination he directed wrong.
Dark Knight
by toxicbuddha
Oct 2nd, 2008
11:07:12 PM
...was not nearly the movie everyone raved about. Given the depths to which Schumacher and Clooney had sunk the franchise, anything that didn't have Batman wearing mascara and fighting Kelsey Grammer was a huge step up. DK was not a bad movie and is likeable enough, but to be honest both films get way more love than they truly deserve.
Fables
by HoldynTwyst
Oct 3rd, 2008
11:00:11 AM
Mike Allred just doesn't work well in a world where the characters need to be diverse. Buckingham pushed the characters' differences and made them seperate, identifiable, and more flawed and human. When Bigby looks like a fashion plate instead of a grizzled detective, you lose a lot of his personality. The story was great though, and that idea of having a tyranical despot brought to live in a community of refugees from his war (which is all anybody in Fabletown is: a refugee or the children of refugees) is brilliant and definitely interesting. I'm very curious to see post-war Fable worlds and the future of Gepetto, not only in Fabletown, but in the real world in general.
This has gotten weak.
by loodabagel
Oct 6th, 2008
08:53:07 PM
Fo' real.
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